18 July 2013
Six weeks ago I started a twelve week Weight Loss Coaching programme with Dawn Walton from Think It Change It Cognitive Hypnotherapy and Think Change Become Life Coaching. This is a review. I am not paying for the course, but I am taking as seriously as if I had parted with some cash.
So, how is it going?
My answer will depend on which day you ask me. Some days I would say it's going really well and I feel completely in control. Other days, not so well. Even on a bad day, where my eating seems out of control, I'm still able to write down three positive changes that I've noticed that day.
I have lost eleven pounds since I've been listening daily to my ten minute MP3.
I'm still not cured. I'm still worried I'll always go back to my fall-back position of emotional binge eating.
The changes I have noticed in my eating habits, in my relationship with food and in my feelings towards exercise are enormous.
I eat loads of fruit and vegetables. I enjoy eating. I no longer feel guilty if I eat a 'bad' food. I am putting less on my plate. When I eat I listen to my body and stop eating as soon as I feel full. Most of the time I save my dinner leftovers for my lunch the next day (I was bought up as a member of the Clean Plate Club and I hate to waste food).
I now walk everywhere. I run up stairs. I don't leave things at the bottom of the stairs to take up later, I run up with them there and then. I can run after my children. I've even shown them how to skip.
I feel great in my clothes. I'm buying smaller sizes, confident that I'll get in them. I'm feeling good about myself, taking care of my skin, painting my nails. I go out and don't worry that people are looking at me, feeling disgusted by my size. I've had my hair cut short because I no longer have a double chin to try to disguise.
I am still struggling with eating mindfully. Some days I can do it, other days I can't. I'm not beating myself up over it. I accept that it is hard and I'm pleased that I manage it some of the time. Eating mindfully is all about connecting your mind and body. You listen to your body, to what it needs. You can eat what you want when you want it, so long as you stop when you have had enough.
When I started eating mindfully I got terribly upset. After years of being told what not to eat, what to eat, when to eat it, you are free to eat anything and I found it unbelievably stressful. I wasn't sure I could do it. I didn't know which way was up for a while. My conscious mind could not cope with this freedom. When Dawn asked me to eat what I wanted for a week, I freaked out, but I tried it and managed it for two days.
I'm still not fully eating mindfully. I'm still going to Slimming World and pretty much following their eating plan. This is causing a conflict, but I don't yet feel confident enough to walk away from regular weigh-ins. I'm worried if I stop going I'll put back on all the weight I have lost, even though I know there is another way.
I expect to talk about this with Dawn the next time we Skype. In between these sessions Dawn is always available via email and she has been incredibly supportive.
Sorry I couldn't be clearer about how it's going. In summary I would say that the Weight Loss Coaching is going brilliantly well, but I don't feel cured yet.