15 June 2012

Where do babies come from?




Some conversations can be tricky, but not always in the way you may think.

4yo: Where do babies come from?

Me (only pausing for half a beat): Mummy and Daddy have a special cuddle, then a baby grows in Mummy's tummy.

3yo: Is there a baby growing in your tummy, Mummy?

Me: No, darling.

4yo and 3yo (sadly): Oh.

3yo: Can you grow a baby, Mummy?

Me: No, love, Mummy is too old.

4yo: You're not, Mummy. Please can you have a baby girl. I haven't got a sister.

3yo: I'd like a sister, Mummy.

4yo: I'd like a sister, Mummy.

Me: Sorry, boys, and (changing the subject) we need to made Daddy and Grandad some Father's Day cards.

I was fine with the sex education for pre-schoolers aspect to this conversation. I guess I'd already thought about my answer before I gave it. I was honest, but not graphic.

What rattled me was how I feel now. I'm 42 and won't be having any more children.

I had it in my head that 40 is the cut-off for having babies. I made up this life rule years ago, based on 'the risks'. I'm generally risk averse, but having children isn't like saving money for a rainy day or deciding not to do a bungy jump.

Andy and I found having two children within a year was Quite Hard Work. We decided then that we would stick at two children. It's not quite so demanding now. They go to the toilet themselves, they dress themselves, they feed themselves, they play, they sleep. In September they start school.

If I was a few years younger... If I had met Andy a few years earlier... If I wasn't so fat... If I didn't have a slipped disc... In an ideal world I'd be pregnant now. I'd have a baby in September.

I can't tell you how much I wish I lived in an ideal world.

I wonder if the longing for another child ever goes away?


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4 comments:

  1. Let me lend you Ned, the sleepless nights will remind you why its not a good idea... ;) *hugs* I personally dont think you are too old btw x

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  2. Nah, you aren't too old - I'M too old.

    That longing for a new little one? It does wane for the most part but there's always a little feeling there in the background; at least for me anyway.

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  3. Aww hugs honey. You aren't too old, but it's all a personal choice I think. I had this conversation with my youngest the other day and he wants me to have a piggy rather than a boy or girl. hmmmm... x

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  4. You are never too old, until you are physically too old!

    I have been though this, both the boys asking for a sister. They still do even though they know that mummy can not have another baby. They would love a little sister

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